#Personal · Heart

Hey, crush!

Ito lang pinaka matinong kuha ko sa kanya nung tinawag yung pangalan niya para sa award niya. Ehem, Cum Laude lang naman. Ang kauna unahang Cum Laude na BSIE sa PnC. As in, wow! Hindi siya kasama sa initial list ng mga Cum Laudes nung una kasi daw shiftee siya. From ECE to IE. So, nag appeal siya. Naalala ko nga non, nung nitrip kasi ako ng pinsan niya. Nag chat ako sa kanya para mag sorry. Tapos out of nowhere sinabi niya ipagpray ko daw siya. Tinanong ko kung bakit, yun nga daw para ma-aapprove yung appeal niya na makasama sa cum laude. Sabi ko pa nga, sige ipagpepray kita. Pero iclaim mo na kasama ka na sa mga aawardan. And yun nga, kasama siya. At natutuwa ako kasi alam kong sobrang deserve niya yung award. Hindi dahil sa matalino at masipag, kundi dahil sa humility na taglay niya. Itong pictures na ito, sobrang precious. Kasi pagkasabit sa kanya nung medal inalis niya agad tapos sinabit niya sa mama niya bago sila nagpicture. Nakakaproud siya!

Normal na mag-aaral lang ako. Hindi sobrang talino, hindi sobrang sipag. Sapat lang para makasurvive at maprovide lahat ng requirements bilang estudyante, kahit APA or IMRAD format pa yan haha. Wala naman akong dapat ipagmalaki tungkol sa sarili ko kaya sa pagkakataon na ito, gusto kong itestify yung kabutihan ni Lord sa buhay ko at pagmamahal ng mga tao sa paligid ko. Hindi ko alam kung may speech impediment ba ko but I usually stutter and clutter everytime I talk to a large audience, kaya daanin ko na lang sa hindi naman kahabaang post sa fb πŸ™‚

I know that all things work together for good to those who love God (Romans 8:28). True enough, isa ako sa buhay na patotoo kung gaano kabuti si Lord sa mga taong nagmamahal at nagtitiwala sa Kanya at sa Kanyang kakayahan.

Si Lord yung nagdala sa akin sa PNC para matuto at lumago ako bilang isang indibidwal. Marami mang offer na full scholarship from different universities, si Lord yung gumawa ng paraan para dito ako makapasok at makakilala ng mga mahuhusay na tao na magtuturo sa akin πŸ™‚ I believe si Lord din yung nagdala sa akin nung una sa ECE section papunta sa IE para, in one way or another, makakilala at makatouch ako nang buhay ng mas maraming tao πŸ™‚

Habang tumatagal, lalo kong naeenjoy yung pagiging IE student lalo na sa mga major. Nag-aral akong mabuti pero ni minsan hindi ko nalimutang i-enjoy yung buhay estudyante ko sa loob ng limang taon πŸ˜€ Pumasok sa President’s List, naging iskolar, at β€˜dun ko naramdaman yung patuloy na pag-ibig ni Lord para sa akin.

Nitong 5th year na’ko, pinayuhan ako ng dekano ng CBAA (salamat po ng maramin sir!) na mag-apply bilang Cum Laude. Tagumpay na yung makapagtapos ka ng pag-aaral eh, bonus na lang kung may award πŸ™‚Syempre, gusto ko ring mapasaya yun pamilya ko at maging buhay na patotoo sa kadakilaan ng Diyos.

Nag-apply. Nareject (aaaaw). Nag-appeal πŸ˜€ Wala ako sa unang listahan ng mga awardee pero salamat kay Lord dahil meron mga taong handang makinig at unawain yung sitwasyon ko bilang shiftee. Hindi ko man po kayo ma-isa isa ngunit gusto ko pong magpasalamat sa mga taong nagbigay konsiderasyon para makapasok ako sa listahan ng mga laude.

Sobra sobra yung pagkilos ni Lord sa buhay ko. During kasi nung appeal period, naramdaman kong hindi ako nag-iisa dun sa laban ko. Nung time na yun, ramdam na ramdam ko yung suporta at pagmamahal ng pamilya ko at mga kaibigan ko πŸ™‚ I held on to God’s promise of making everything beautiful in its time. Indeed, this is my time to harvest. Salamat po ng marami, Lord. I am always in love with you, Jesus ❀

Salamat kay Mayor Mel sa pagbibigay halaga sa edukasyon lalo na sa Pamantasan ng Cabuyao. Pasalamat ako kay God kasi naglaan Siya ng pamantasan at ng mga professors na tumulong upang kami ay lumago hindi lang sa school kundi bilang tao na rin. Natuto kaming magplano, magschedule, magmanage ng different resources, magset ng standard, magbigay ng acceptable limit, magresearch, mag-improve, mag-optimize at maging propesyunal.

Salamat din sa mga nakilala ko, at sa mga kaibigan kong naging kasama at katulong ko sa loob ng ilang taon lalo na sa malulupit kong BEASTFRIENDS ❀ (Tkz, Casper, Don Perto at Chin gala na tayo ulit haha), sa walang iwanan na BNTLG ❀ (season 2 na tayo, guys?), at ang cool section ng 5IE-1 ❀ (Pabenchmark mga boss haha). Love you guys hehe πŸ™‚

Salamat rin sa Juan Kabuyaw Movement, PnC Kalikasan, CSG at sa CIESO na tumulong sa akin paano maging isang mabuting lider (sagot: mahirap pero masaya) πŸ˜€ Tuloy lang sa mga nasimulan hehe πŸ™‚

Thankful din po ako dahil lumaki ako sa JIL Church. Tunay na lumago ako spiritually. Salamat po kay Pastor, kay Pastora na naging gabay namin para makilala pa si Lord ng lubusan πŸ™‚

Congrats rin pala kay Ellane! You deserve it, pinsan πŸ™‚ Sa Galang at Bantatua Family, maraming salamat po sa lahat πŸ™‚ Kila Mommy Julie, Daddy Nelson, Riza, at Lhen, salamat po ng maraming marami πŸ™‚ Alam ko po na lagi kayong nandyan lahat para suportahan ako sa lahat ng bagay. Love you all!

Gusto ko rin po i-congrats si Nanay Hilda, Tatay Lando, Kuya Enad, Kuya Ebel, at Kuya Neil dahil para sa inyo po talaga yung parangal na ito πŸ™‚Kasama ko po kayo sa tagumpay na ito. Salamat po sa lahat gayundin kila Ate Jella, Ate Jhed at KC. Ramdam na ramdam ko po yung suporta at pagmamahal ninyong lahat para sa akin. Alam ko pong sobrang proud kayo sa achievements ko. Gusto ko lang po na bumawi talaga sa lahat ng pagod at hirap ninyo πŸ™‚ Hindi ko naramdaman yung pressure bilang estudyante. Salamat po sa lahat ng binigay at tinuro ninyo po sa akin lalo na kung paano mapalapit kay Lord. Salamat po at tinuruan ninyo akong magtithes at magbigay ng offering dahil naniniwala po ako na isa yun sa sikreto ng mapagpalang buhay πŸ˜€ Salamat po kay Lord dahil binigay nila kayo sa akin. Mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal ko po kayong lahat ❀

Sa mga nagbabasa po ng post na ito, lalo na kung estudyante pa, maybe you don’t need to study hard, just study well πŸ™‚ Don’t beat yourself up. Have fun πŸ˜€ Mas masarap kasing mag-aral kapag nag-eenjoy ka. β€˜Wag mapressure sa mga gawain. Mahirap naman kasing magexert ng effort na higit pa sa capacity mo. Enjoy every moment ng pagiging estudyante mo.

TANDAAN: minsan lang yan darating sa buhay. Mamimiss mo rin yung maingay na seatmate mo at yung kwento o sermon ng teacher mo. Cherish everything na nangyari sa academic life mo- good or bad man yan. Good kase natuto ka, at yung bad kase mas natuto ka ❀ At syempre, pray. Wala namang imposible kay Lord. Subukan mo rin si Lord sa pagbibigay. No one can outgive God pero nangako Siya e. Handa siyang magbigay ng siksik, liglig at umaapaw na pagpapala as long as makita Niya na sumusunod ka sa will Niya. ALWAYS BE THANKFUL.

Sa mga kapwa ko IE, gustong mag-IE, nililipat sa IE, pinipilit na mag-IE, tuloy lang kayo. β€˜Wag susuko. Jack of all trades, master of ONE- that’s adaptability. Ayan tayo e πŸ™‚ Chill lang. Maraming nakahanda para sa atin sa corporate world πŸ˜‰

Sa mga taga-PNC, gustong mag-aral sa PNC, at napilitan lang na mag-aral sa PNC, mahalin natin yung pamantasan natin πŸ™‚ Wala naman tayo kung wala sila β€˜di ba? Marami mang side comment, alam kong naappreciate ng bawat isa sa atin yun naitulong sa atin ng PNC. Dangal tayo ng bayan e πŸ˜‰

Sa mga kapwa ko magsisipagtapos, congratulations! Good luck sa ating lahat πŸ™‚

Sa lahat, mapagpalang araw po πŸ™‚ God loves you. He will never leave nor forsake you πŸ˜‰

VBGB
Pamantasan ng Cabuyao
BS in Industrial Engineering
Batch 2017
Cum Laude

Congratulations, Engr. Beans!

#Personal

her 21st.

For the past years, I never wanted to celebrate my birthday with the usual food in the table set-up. But since I have friends who expect too much that I will invite them to my party since its my birthday, napipilitan akong maghanda. We’re not that rich like those people who celebrate their birthdays in sumptuous ways. Okay na nga sa’kin yung may maipakain lang sa kanila kapag pumunta sila sa bahay. That’s how simple I am.

Same as with the gifts. I’m not expecting any gifts either. Basta ako, I’ll be fine with just treating myself into a new restaurant or buy something that I really want or take myself into a place where I could breathe and relax. Just like that.

But my Lord had blessed me and He’s still pouring it out on me and on my family as well. There are opportunities and chances that were on my way whenever I go. Nakakakilig lang, kasi kapag pinagpala ka ni Lord, idadamay na rin Niya yung lahat ng mga tao na nasa paligid mo. Yieee!

Last year, my friends – volleyball/running buddies (Kier, Manicris, Kessel, Cindy, Crizel and Nylyn) gave me a Bible. As in yung Bible na sinabi ko sa sarili ko na bibilhin ko talaga after I finish reading my old Bible – which is 7 years na sa akin. See, it’s been years and until now hindi ko pa rin tapos basahin ang Bible. Kinikilig talaga ako that time and even until now kapag naalala ko yung surprise nila. And this year, they gave me a 2017 journal. And it looks so feminine, but it’s really nice. Talagang mapapajournal na ako, no?

More than the gifts, I can really say na ang lakas lakas ko sa Lord. I’m not really worthy for everything that I have, I don’t deserve any of this – even His love and mercy. But, He is kind and His love endures forever. He made sure na I will always be safe and secure every now and then. Nako, sa pagtawid pa nga lang sa kalsada eh. Feeling ko tuloy pang ilang buhay ko na ito. Haha! But like what I said, He blessed me and my soul indeed, though I’m not worthy.

And oh, let me add. He also blessed me on my on-the-job training. I have a five bosses and they became good to me. I remember before nung ininterview ako sa company na yun, I prayed na sana maging mabait yung mga magiging bosses ko. And He answered my prayer. They became so good to me. Natuto ako hindi lang for technical but also how to work that includes heart, dedication, initiative and so on.

I remember the last day of my ojt, my boss asked me if I could extend my training. Hindi na ako pumayag even though babayaran na ako nang 75% ng minimum wage. Reasons: napapagod na akong gumising sa umaga, tumakbo para makipaghabulan sa mga jeep at sa shuttle service. But more than that, I declined her offer for me to remind myself na nagtraining ako doon not fot the sake of money/allowance. Before, bukambibig ko kasi yung sana malaki yung allowance ganon ganyan. But its just a 25-pesos meal allowance lang ang matatanggap namin for the 50 days of training. Ngayong in-offer na sakin yung 75%, umayaw na ako. Kasi okay na ako eh, masasabi ko na sa sarili ko na hindi ako mukhang pera. And besides, sobrang bait nila sa akin. Doon palang solve na ako, kaya okay na. Kuntento na ako.
Dear: Paps,

I never got the chance to express my heart how thankful and grateful I am. Sobra sobrang pagmamahal for me to cover under your wings, it’s more than enough. And I want to thank You for the past twenty years of my life. Nagkakabali-baligtad man ang mundo ko, huminto man sa pag-ikot, You never change. You’re still the God whom I love ever since and until now. Thank You, my Lord. I offer you this another year of my life. Bless me, my family and my friends in everything we do and say. Thank You, Lord.

I love my recent life. Woooo!

#Personal

her 20 year old life secret

Hey, can I tell you a secret?

I’ve thought so many times how to end my life.

In a easiest and painless way.

How to say bittersweet goodbyes without holding back.

I remember myself holding a knife in my left hand.

Where should I stab myself?

In heart? In neck? In stomach?

I was hoping that day I will be covered with blood.

I remember also myself holding a blade,

tracing it on my wrist.

I remember how broken and sad I was,

IΒ  really remember how desperate I am to die.

I have an incredible parents, yes.

But I don’t remember the happy days of my childhood.

I was being compared to anyone.

People cursed me for not being enouggh in their sight.

I was being punished for the mistakes I’ve never done.

No one was there to comfort me.

I even cursed my God because of so much sufferings I had.

I blamed Him that He let me born in this world.

I hated Him for a long time.

And so are my parents.

And my brother.

And those I considered as my best friends.

If they care about me so much, then why am I hurting?

I should have killed my self, I thought.

Until one day, everything has changed.

He heard my cries, I guessed.

Yet, my pain didn’t end.

It became worst.

Words that came out from their mouths,

became a sword that strooke at my heart fiercely. Deeply.

Their harshful words became my daily reminder.

“You are not enough. And you will never be enough.”

“Wala kang kwenta kahit kailan.”

“Tatanga tanga ka kasi.”

“Mamatay ka na.”

There.

They even wished me to die.

Like my wish to myself.

But, hey.

Can I tell you another secret?

I’m still alive.

Breathing.

Living.

I allowed my dark world to consume me for years,

to the point that I felt my life was just a waste.

I grew tired being a slave of my past,

being broken and empty.

I thought I would never forgive them.

I thought I would be a prisoner of sadness that slowly will kill me.

I realized, that life was worth-living afterall.

I pray. I wait.

Can I tell you one more secret?

I survived.

I lived because of those people.

Whom I thought would destroy me until the end.

IΒ  opened my heart.

I forgave. I forget.

I have thought of ending my life more often than counting my age.

But today, I chose not to.

I now want to live longer that I thought.

I now want to see another world after that I’ve been through.

I now want to have a better view of life.

I now want to live by faith and not by sight.

I now want to learn how how to love.

And to feelΒ  how it is being loved.

I now want to travel.

I now want to see my stolen pictures,

me wearing a happy heart.

IΒ  now realized that life will not end just because

we want to.

I now want to believe that this monster will die

and will no longer have power in me.

“For I am now in charge of my own thoughts.

They are no longer in charge of me.”

Disclaimer: Her 20 year old secretΒ  ay ginawa ko at ang isang post sa isang blog ang ginamit ko bilang halimbawa.

#Personal

Last days of 2016

2016 is a blast. There are things that we expected to happened. And there are some that are not. Minsan nga sa sobrang bilis nang mga pangyayari, natutulala ka na lang eh. But of course, we must and should be thankful for everything. Dapat maging masaya tayo na may mga naranasan tayo ngayong taon na hindi natin makakalimutan. Pinaiyak man tayo, pinatawa, sinurpresa, pinalungkot, pinagtaka, pinagtaranta, pinaisip o kahit ano pa man yan. We must be thankful kasi we have new memories and experiences na maisshare natin sa iba. Diba? Diba.

I’ve read an article.. saktong sakto ngayong panahon, about letting go and moving forward. And I thought, this might be a good first entry here. So, yeah, enjoy!

 

37 Things to Let Go of in 2017

Worrying about what has happened in the past.

The need to be in control of everything.

The idea of a β€œperfect life.”

Fear of the unknown.

Unhealthy relationships.

Worrying about things you can’t change.

Clothing you haven’t worn in over a year.

A job you hate.

Overscheduling your life.

Comparing yourself to other people.

Placing your partner on an unrealistic pedestal.

Going small when you can go BIG.

Your insecurities.

A negative body image.

Fear of failure.

Clutter in your home.

Procrastinating on important things.

Overspending.

Your pride.

Worrying what others think of you.

Excuses.

Your dependency on social media.

Your comfort zone.

Failing to care for your physical health.

Grudges.

Lazy habits that are holding you back.

Past debts.

The belief that the “grass is always greener.”

Gossip.

Guilt and anger over past events.

Any possessions that don’t bring you joy.

Unrealistic expectations.

Trying to make everyone happy.

Old things you can donate or sell for cash.

Overindulging in unhealthy habits

Jealousy.

Anyone and anything that doesn’t make you happy.

Guilty yata ako sa lahat.. medyo mashaket eh.

Anyways, have a bountiful new year everyone! Love you, guys. :))))

Disclaimer: Wrote this when I took a break from my on-the-job training. Productive enough.

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